My girls.

As I mentioned in my first post, I own and run a dance school. We're a relatively small school, but ever expanding, and my business means the world to me. I've built it up from when we opened the doors in December 2011, I've seen people come and people go, but I have my little dancers who are devoted to the progression of the school and have that spark inside them to be dedicated to their dancing studies. They're my little extended family, I love these children and I am continually proud of their achievements and watching them grow.

When I found out I was pregnant everyone was so excited, parents included. I was supported when I was struggling with sickness and had to take time out (an extremely rare occurrence, I never take time out from my business!) and the girls were intrigued by Harry's scan pictures and my protruding bump! I laughed when they asked me questions such as "what does it feel like to have a baby in your tummy?" and they laughed at me when my bump started making it difficult to get up from the splits. They were so happy at the prospect of a little baby joining our dancing family. I was so touched when I received a picture drawn by one of my 6 year olds of me with bubs in my tummy.

Following our scan I obviously had to take time off, I was extremely lucky to have close friends who were able to take over for a short while. I worried for my girls, how would they react to this? Would they understand? I explained to the parents what the circumstances were and left it in their hands to tell their own children the news in a way they felt appropriate. I was scared to go back in case one of them mentioned anything and I broke down, I didn't want to let them see me so broken.

Returning and seeing them all actually came so much easier than I expected, it was actually a relief. Children get over situations remarkably quickly. Getting back to the studio and watching them dance and laugh and chatter, I couldn't help but feel content. Dancing is such a release and for those few hours a week I spend with my girls and dancing, my mind is distracted and I'm almost happy. They keep me busy and I'm throwing myself back into running my school, it's keeping me sane.

So many people offer support and guidance....these children send me a life line and a huge hope for the future. I know how fond they would be of Harry had they met, I know he is with us in that studio giggling at their childish antics and enjoying the music and dancing. How I wish Harry could have had this life too, but he is always in my heart, I dedicate my dancing work to him.